Sky Of Colours

----------Monday, April 9, 2012----------

omg.. i am having this feeling again.

damn it.

i seriously thought my life was back on track and this is the kind of life i want.

a life that is busy, both work and school to keep me occupied.

a life that has freedom to do just about anything.

a life that i can do without any relationships to tie me down.

but, recently, after hanging out with this childhood friend of mine,

i began to enjoy his accompaniment, his entertainment, his irritating actions.

but after i realised that there's this particular girl that he's quite close with, i actually felt jealous.

i had this feeling a few years ago, in poly, when he told me about girls liking him and i felt weird that i actually felt jealous, but i eventually put it aside and went on with my life.

BUT.. recently this feeling came back again.. and this jealousy felt stronger than before.

i got no idea if it's due to me developing feelings for him without me realising it or its just because he's my childhood friend, the longest friendship i had and i do not want to lose it.

but i'm just feeling it again.. howww??

i dislike seeing him so close with other girls but i'm in no position to stop him from doing so.. howww?? urghhh..

i'm so messed up because of this.. urghhhhhh!!!!!!

Its Nice Being Colourful...---------------------- 12:43 AM