when are you going to start talking to me again?
make my wish come true,
all i want for christmas is you.
12:33 AM
in fact.. i had 2 different dreams last night. :\
and this 2 things had been on my mind all along.
and the dreams i dreamt was so real.
the first dream i had was about somebody that i cared about ignoring me.
it was so real. like i was back in reality.
shall not go on much about this.
the second dream i had was about family.
recently, i had a dispute with my brother,
and i can't stand my presence in this family,
as if i was born to serve them as their maid.
Not that i MIND serving them, but if they can at least show some appreciation by respecting me, i WOULDN'T mind serving them at all..
And what i can't stand the most was how my parents had spoiled the 2 kings in the family.
so much so that they think they are right and correct in everything they do.
and how my parents are angry with almost everything that i've done.
Like everything that i've done was wrong and never good enough.
and what i dreamed of was i left home.
(something that somebody taught me in primary school, but something i have not done)
i left home and stayed over at one of my friend's house.
inside the dream, i could really feel the freedom that i wanted.
i was free of having to serve them.
i was free of having to look at all their unhappy expression that lingers in my mind ALL THE TIME.
i realised, the time spent with my family are the most quiet moments.
since when did we ran out of things to say?
and everytime we tried to talk and discuss something,
it always ended up with disagreements and quarrells.
i can no longer feel any love and care coming from this family.
everybody is like living their own life.
it just doesn't feel like family.
i can spend the whole day with them and we number of time we talked can be calculated just by using our fingers.
i needed love from them but i cant seem to feel any.
looking through my childhood photos today, i really missed those times when i'm still so naive, when just a simple hug/kiss from my parents could make me so happy.
how i loved being carried in the arms of my dad.
and looking at how he's ignoring me, couldn't be bothered by me now just saddens me, so much so that i could cry just by thinking about it.
looking at how we sibling were able to talk to one another without having to quarrell..
how my dad used to bring us out for a picnic at the beach and how we are stuck at nowhere to go, except staying home or at mum's shop.
i really feel that my life's quite empty.
there's no love and care.
as if my life in this world is just an extra.
as if the world is wasting its air on me.
really feel like crying my heart out.
if u wan to give me any present for christmas or my birthday, just give me the love and care that i really, badly needed. thanks.
11:06 PM
12:26 AM
i guess i will cause this is a place i feels comfortable for venting out whatever that is in me.
and i know its a place where little people visits.
Follow me at ade-dreamer.tumblr.com =D
1:29 AM
He may not be worth it.But we girls are silly.
Cause, we just can't help thinking about them.
How foolish are we? am I?
12:26 AM
I was reminded of the time spent in china.
When i just reached there, i felt that time was really tickling by slowly.
Especially when i had nothing to do.
I wished and wished that time could pass at a faster rate and I can come back to singapore earlier.
I did not wish to come back to singapore because i miss singapore.
but instead, i wish to come back earlier because i was missing you.
i wished to come back to singapore earlier to meet up with you and go out with you.
and i was really quite happy when we are about to come home.
but now. i'm in singapore. but i wished that i had been back in china.
to escape this harsh reality.
but it just doesn't matter anymore.
11:36 PM
i didn't know which floor to get off on,
the doors, they open on 4 and 5 and 6,
and you were gone, all gone,
i didn't understand, i didn't want to know,
at least i took a chance,
i had to let it go
Elevator goes up,
elevator comes down,
and you just go with the flow,
till your feet are back on the ground
it's an endless ride,
sometimes it takes you up
sometimes it tears you down inside
but it's the butterflies
that keep you feeling so alive, so alive
you gotta get back that high
and in my dreams last night,
the door they finally shut,
and i was there, somewhere,
alone in my reality,
inside an empty box
that's filled with air,
but i don't care, no
next time i'll be alright,
next time i'll be ok,
i'll have a different dream tonight,
tomorrow's another day
elevator goes up,
elevator comes up,
and you just go with the flow,
till your feet are back on the ground
it's an endless ride,
sometimes it takes a while,
sometimes it tears you down inside
but it's the butterflies
that keep you feeling so alive, so alive
you gonna get back that high
you never know what you gonna get
what you don't expect
can come and find you
if you laugh or cry, if you run and hide
but it's alright
elevator goes up,
elevator comes down
but you just go with the flow
till your feet are back on the ground
it's endless ride,
sometimes it brings you up,
sometimes it tears you down inside
but its the butterflies
that keep you feeling so alive, so alive
you gotta get back that high.
high, high, high,
so alive, so alive,
you gotta get back that high
2:11 AM