Sky Of Colours

----------Wednesday, May 30, 2007----------

on tuesday, wake up quite late get changed and waited for friends to call me b4 going out of house to meet her.. was late for attachment, so stayed a bit longer at the childcare to help feed the children eat.. reached sch at bout 1245.. and my next lesson starts at 230.. was alone so din eat lunch.. don know y.. i just cant eat a meal alone.. went to sit and wait outside the classroom.. people walking past looking at me sitting alone down there.. so i get up and started walking around as it was freezing cold down there to.. while i waited, played with my hp game, sudoku and face hitting.. friends came at onli arund 220? went back to outside the classroom to sit down again while waiting for the teacher to come.. they were having their conversation and i sitted there wanting to join in but couldnt find a thing to talk so i kept quiet.. the same thing happen in lecture again.. somehow was sitting alone in a corner.. and the same thing happen again after lecture.. seems that its meant for me to be alone.. walked all the way to my mum shop.. 2nd time walkong there.. 1st time was last tuesday. having a hope that while walking will meet some of my friends.. well i really did meet them.. but we din talk much.. and i made my way down again..

was smiling all the way while walking.. which i never done so b4.. cause i never like to be alone.. and so definitely wont be smiling while walking alone.. but today... was alone almost the whole day.. and i cant feel anything at all.. guess i am numb to my feelings le.. mixed up all the feelings.. but i din find ppl to talk bout my pro to.. guess i am just too tired.. slping late for the past few nights.. tiredness seems to overcome all the feelings.. wasnt sad, wasnt happy.. i just cant make out how am i feeling..

reached my mum shop.. the ah gong keep disturbing bout me being out of ndp.. but i cant feel the sadness when he disturbs me like wad i feel when ppl talked bout ndp for past few days.. fed the baby there.. and i think i stuff myself with lots and lots of food.. and all those food was unhealthy.. except for the rice and curry.. eating lots of potato chips which i haven eaten for a long time, biscuits.. drank rooot beer.. it was like i know i am full but i jus cant stop eating.. ended up with a terrible stomach ache later in the night.. daddy came, ate his lunch and i asked him to help me buy coke.. but in the end also nv drink.. den closed shop and went home..

reached home switch on my com and i fall aslp on my bed again.. woke up at 230 and came online.. started blogging.. thinking of events that happened.. and i actually had a dream while i sleep.. was quite a sweet dream.. but i don feel like sharing to anybody in case i gets disturbed again.. was supposed to do my assignment.. but i end up din do.. very lazy to do le ba..

don now what i have been think lately.. seems like i am thinking a lot but don know what am i thinking.. think i am used to being alone le ba? din bother to call or sms friends today.. i seems to alone and lost in my own world and i don know how is it like to be in my own world? seeing couple together makes me admire them.. seeing a grp of friends walking together makes me feel like being with them.. seein families together makes me feel envious.. y cant i own these things like every other do? cant be bothered to find the ans anymore.. guess i consider myself dead le ba.. but nevertheless.. i am still living for a better tomorrow..

Its Nice Being Colourful...---------------------- 2:32 AM