Sky Of Colours

----------Thursday, May 31, 2007----------

did my projects until 4 am then slp. woke up at 1030.. went to my mum's room.. she asks my eldest brother to help her put songs from her cd into her mp3. but the program for her mp3 was in my com.. but she din ask me to help.. so i say i will teach her one day so that she can do it next time.. well i was really tired so i took a nap on her bed.. for less than 2 min and she was like getting angry and saying things like after i get my new hp then don wan help her do things and stuff like that.. den i asked her which songs she wanted to put inside her mp3 and she shouted at me.. the lacking com also needs quite some time to start up den while waiting for the com taking a less than 2 min nap also cannot.. and she knew it herself that the com gets start up very slowly.. and she is like getting angry for no reason. then i say i nt going out cause i need to rush for my projects and she says things like ' do projects only then every other thing also don need do le larx( refering to me nt going her shop) then she says she also have work to do and also need to rush..' then i says my projects needs hand in and there is marks given. then she says ' then i don need lahx.. i also have to do alteration for people and give them back in time.' i was thinking.. i din stop u from going ur shop to do ur work right? i am onli nt going wad.. she is getting sort of unreasonable.. i was wondering.. is going to her shop more important than doing my projects.. ok.. nvm then she went out of the house to work with my dad..

stayed home do project the whole day.. wasnt feeling sad bout wad bothers me in the morning. was actually quite hapy that she wasnt home.. prepared my own lunch from leftover food.. while doing the projects, keep eating, drinking and chatting with people.. haha.. but manage to complete my work b4 the time i set for myself which was b4 6.. haha.. was really happy when i completed my work.. sense of satisfaction. haha. den chat with people. receiving songs from wilson.. sending jiaying photos. then calls my father to ask him help me buy printer ink.. then came home around 8 plus.. took my dinner. inserting the ink, eat my curry puff and print the work.. all done by 9.. look through chat history to see when's xan birthday.. took me quite some time to find it.. and realise his birthday was yesterday! haha.. den went to keep the printer.. and sat on the sofa wanting to blog but was watching tv.. then at the same time my mum came out.. see me watching tv.. den go complain my dad that i have time watch tv don have time to do work and go her shop.. i was going wad the... getting realy unreasonable.. den i swtich off the tv and starts blogging.. thinking of her only makes me feel unhappy.. though she is my mum.. sad..

ooh... din feel sad.. but was actually quite happy? think i getting myself back le ba.. except the part of me keep eating non stop de.. haha.. all is fine now i think? haha..

Its Nice Being Colourful...---------------------- 10:13 PM

Wesnesday.. woke up late.. if not for wilson msg that makes me wakes up, i think i will jus slp on and miss my lecture.. so wake up at bout 740 am.. bathe and don know y.. knowing that i am going to be late i still took my time to get ready.. went out of house at bout 815.. was late for class by onli a few minutes.. in the morning received 2 person msg that says i sound weird.. ok.. maybe i does sound weird without myseld realising it.. maybe its jus my mood that makes me not realise it? i don know.. sat alone in class again.. after lecture.. first to went out of the room.. but still go with friends to eat lunch.. during lunch still din talk much.. went to do project after that.. din bring laptop so went to eet jiaying to borrow laptop from her.. walk all the way from SIM to canteen 3.. and back again.. din do anything much for projects anyway.. went to buy titbits b4 lecture.. bought 2 packet of drink, 2 packet of sweets and 1 packet of biscuits.. all which i manage to finish within 1 day.. and i had a full lunch.. guess i am stuffing myself with food again.. after lecture went to meet jiaying at library.. slack there while she waits for her friends to come..
din go my mum shop today cause have to go home do projects.. been doing since 730 pm.. and until now onli completed 1/4 of the assignment.. well.. was actually multi- tasking.. doing project, listening to songs, chatting with friends, eating drinking, walking around.. wonder when am i going to finish my work? internet become lacking so decided to blog first.. had dinner at 1130? and i actully made it myself? and my dinner was actually bread.. spread some margarine on the bread, put cheese on it and put them to steam.. usually there was ham to go along.. but today cant find any ham anywhere so i jus had to made do with bread and cheese..tasted weird.. so din finish the food.. think will have to continue with my work after blogging..

i realli din think much today.. though i still cant find my usual self back.. but i am sure i am going to find it back one day.. cause i know i cant stay like this forever.. but there is somethings that i realli wonder.. whether i shd fight for my happiness or let it go... cant find an answer..

Its Nice Being Colourful...---------------------- 12:09 AM

----------Wednesday, May 30, 2007----------

on tuesday, wake up quite late get changed and waited for friends to call me b4 going out of house to meet her.. was late for attachment, so stayed a bit longer at the childcare to help feed the children eat.. reached sch at bout 1245.. and my next lesson starts at 230.. was alone so din eat lunch.. don know y.. i just cant eat a meal alone.. went to sit and wait outside the classroom.. people walking past looking at me sitting alone down there.. so i get up and started walking around as it was freezing cold down there to.. while i waited, played with my hp game, sudoku and face hitting.. friends came at onli arund 220? went back to outside the classroom to sit down again while waiting for the teacher to come.. they were having their conversation and i sitted there wanting to join in but couldnt find a thing to talk so i kept quiet.. the same thing happen in lecture again.. somehow was sitting alone in a corner.. and the same thing happen again after lecture.. seems that its meant for me to be alone.. walked all the way to my mum shop.. 2nd time walkong there.. 1st time was last tuesday. having a hope that while walking will meet some of my friends.. well i really did meet them.. but we din talk much.. and i made my way down again..

was smiling all the way while walking.. which i never done so b4.. cause i never like to be alone.. and so definitely wont be smiling while walking alone.. but today... was alone almost the whole day.. and i cant feel anything at all.. guess i am numb to my feelings le.. mixed up all the feelings.. but i din find ppl to talk bout my pro to.. guess i am just too tired.. slping late for the past few nights.. tiredness seems to overcome all the feelings.. wasnt sad, wasnt happy.. i just cant make out how am i feeling..

reached my mum shop.. the ah gong keep disturbing bout me being out of ndp.. but i cant feel the sadness when he disturbs me like wad i feel when ppl talked bout ndp for past few days.. fed the baby there.. and i think i stuff myself with lots and lots of food.. and all those food was unhealthy.. except for the rice and curry.. eating lots of potato chips which i haven eaten for a long time, biscuits.. drank rooot beer.. it was like i know i am full but i jus cant stop eating.. ended up with a terrible stomach ache later in the night.. daddy came, ate his lunch and i asked him to help me buy coke.. but in the end also nv drink.. den closed shop and went home..

reached home switch on my com and i fall aslp on my bed again.. woke up at 230 and came online.. started blogging.. thinking of events that happened.. and i actually had a dream while i sleep.. was quite a sweet dream.. but i don feel like sharing to anybody in case i gets disturbed again.. was supposed to do my assignment.. but i end up din do.. very lazy to do le ba..

don now what i have been think lately.. seems like i am thinking a lot but don know what am i thinking.. think i am used to being alone le ba? din bother to call or sms friends today.. i seems to alone and lost in my own world and i don know how is it like to be in my own world? seeing couple together makes me admire them.. seeing a grp of friends walking together makes me feel like being with them.. seein families together makes me feel envious.. y cant i own these things like every other do? cant be bothered to find the ans anymore.. guess i consider myself dead le ba.. but nevertheless.. i am still living for a better tomorrow..

Its Nice Being Colourful...---------------------- 2:32 AM

----------Tuesday, May 29, 2007----------

haha.. woke up at 7 am.. feel that its still early so i went back to slp.. but lucky manage to wake up in time to get to sch in time.. morning mood still haven changed.. sadness stil lingers.. havin ITA pratical which was kind of bored.. so chatted with people on msn.. den went for break.. manage to stuff the whole plate of chicken rice down my stomach.. haha.. after that went basement to slack.. met wilson as he was on his way to his usual hang out place.. and i went for my IT lecture.. fall aslp in class.. wake to onli to finish the qns given and left for S&W.. mood changed a lot better after that.. after S&W went to wilson hang out place to meet him and daniel... daniel was funny lahx.. asking ppl around for name of song by singing the tune to them.. haha.. but sorry daniel.. i cant help u ask around.. cause soon after i left, i forgotten the tune le.. haha..slack there for a while then take bus to bus stop in front of beauty world to wait for my mum... wasted half an hour there waiting for her.. could have slack a while longer then wilson and daniel..

after that took taxi and rush home to get change and make up to go for people wedding dinner.. was rushing all the while.. 30 min to bath and make up and put on the accessories and stuff?? haha.. ok. then went to atend the dinner.. reached there at 730? slack around taking photos with cousins, and waited for the bride to come.. was quite sian waiting.. cause dinner was supposed to start at 830 but instead, waited until 9 plus.. well.. people wedding i shouldnt be complaining.. haha.. the bride came in and i totally fall in love with the gown she wearing.. its too beautiful.. and i find that the bride look like olivia.. haha. and the groom look a little bit like wilson from far.. haha.. dinner started in a funny way.. with hip hop music instead of normal soothing music? but was special though.. ended at eleven and we took bus to my grandpa house and drive our car back home.. reached home get changed and started blogging, uploading photos to friendster and later some on blog.. haha..

here's some photos i took:

haha.. i find that i am so zi lian.. keep taking photos of myself.. haha..

was actualli thinking a lot today.. especailly during the wedinf dinner.. seeing the couple getting married makes me so envious.. wonder when mine will come.. but i know that day wont come until the special u come into my life.. longing for my special you...

Its Nice Being Colourful...---------------------- 12:11 AM

----------Sunday, May 27, 2007----------

Arghhh... i am god damn sad today.. wake up late.. met pei yi and eggy for lunch at west mall.. was late though.. walk to wilson house.. took his mum car to np.. thanks auntie.. sat at student plaza for a while.. board bus to ngee soon camp.. and skated.. well... thought i have been prepared to be out of ndp.. but when really out.. i cant help but to feel sad.. and is very sad.. people came and ask me am i okay.. wasnt ok but still reply ok.. guess i trying nt to make them worry.. din even smile like i used to when i see wilson msg.. so they went for their practice and i sat alone playing with my hp game.. venting all my anger on the game.. trying to hit as many ppl i can in the game.. den took bus back to np again.. but manage to smile and sing songs with them in the bus.. guess onli music cheered me up? i don know.. then skate to KAP with wilson, daniel, pei yi and some other people.. wilson helped me down the slopes again.. guess my presence only bring trouble to people.. haix.. reached KAP.. ilena helped me buy ice milo and she left b4 i could return her her $.. thanks daniel for trying to make me smile with all ur actions.. den change back to slipper and walk to bus stop with olivia and justin.. manage to luaugh on the way also.. after boarding the bus, my mood soon change back to sadness again.. thinking a lot on the way back..

reach home, tell daddy that i am sad.. but he din bother bout me.. makes me more sad.. rested on my bed for awhile and starts blogging..

i don know y.. but i have a feelings that things just change overnight.. things arent seem the same anymore.. was it my imagination? i don know.. but i guess.. guys are the same? i don know.. i trying to give my best.. but i knew it won't succeed.. now.. i don know wad to says and wad to do.. y does it fail everytime? guess i am just a failure in everything..

Its Nice Being Colourful...---------------------- 11:11 PM

----------Saturday, May 26, 2007----------

haha.. was talking to salmon wilson and pei yi all night but actuaaly is morning till 7 am!! wow.. i broke my record of nt slping till morning.. haha.. but still i fall aslp soon when i was trying to pretend to be aslp when my parents came in.. haha.. but still.. woke up at 9:30 am.. haha.. do some housechores den a short nap again while my mum mop the floor..

went to my mum shop again.. played with the baby there.. playing around with my phone.. smsing ppl, taking pictures of baby.. haha.. had the urge to go skating but din go.. haha.. shop neighbours came to my shop drink wine and XO.. haha.. i onli took a sip.. haha.. taste is so strong.. haha.. think i keep yawning the whole day? haha.. and i realise i couldnt spend much time with the baby like i normally used to.. haha.. ok.. nvm..

relative came to my mum shop soon.. waited for us to close shop and went somewhere near queenstown to eat.. went home after that.. switch on my com but din bothered to stay at com.. so went lying down on bed and read up on how to use my phone.. haha.. read finish le den come use com to chat and blog now.. haha.. well tml have ndp audition which i somehow some sort of know that i confirm will be out.. haha.. prepared my mind le.. haha..

Its Nice Being Colourful...---------------------- 11:11 PM

erms... considered first time blogging?? cause i used to create a blog and i forget about the blog totally and din really even blog in that blog?? haha.. lol.. nvm..

well.. today i woke up at 8:10 when i am supposed to be up by 7 and out of house by 8? haha.. plus today having test at 9am.. so i was totally scared that i will be real real real late for the test..
i ran into the living room and luckily saw my dad who haven gone to work at the time. haha. and i was like going" pa!! wait for me!! drive me to sch!! i having test and i am going to be late!!" and my gd daddy really waited for me and fetch me to sch.. and i managed to reach sch by 8:45am.. the first time i wasnt late for sch on fri since the start of sch.. haha.. then went for test.. the test was ok lahx.. easy for the qns that i studied and difficult for those qns that i din study.. haha..

after the lesson, walk to KAP with friends to eat.. well.. din finish my meal again.. haha.. den i fall asleep halfway through storytelling with my friends.. so rude of me.. haha.. after that went cold storage and i realised that there is actually a drink named 'ANYTHING'. haha.. and i bought 2 cans.. haha.. after that walk back to sch library.. was wearing high heels today so my legs suffered blister again.. haha..

meet jiaying and shandy at four. then was playing with shandy laptop.. haha.. den jiaying help me out with my blog things.. haha.. thank you a lot jiaying!! haha.. was totally high with meeting my two best friends today.. haha.. den jiaying pei me go my mum shop which is located at beauty world.. haha.. went there play with baby.. den talk a while with jiaying b4 she went home.. and i watch my tv.. haha.. father son came and soon we are on our way to diner.. haha.. i managed to eat a whole bowl of macoroni down haha.. caused its actually quite a smal bowl. haha..went home after that..

was going to start on my blogging stuff but i went to my parents rom first.. haha.. and guess wad?? haha they gave me my new hp!!! N73!! haha... its pink and white.. i was so happy.. haha.. couldnt be any happier.. haha.. den now i am writing my blog.. haha.. now i have difficulty ending the blog cause i don know how to end.. haha..

Its Nice Being Colourful...---------------------- 1:22 AM

haha.. just trying out my blog only.. haha

Its Nice Being Colourful...---------------------- 12:46 AM